I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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