Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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