Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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