so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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