so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
