We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
