i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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