have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
