question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
