Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just high enough for therapy.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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