Soap is not a condiment
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
