I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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