I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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