Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
