So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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