I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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