About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
