i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
