You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
