The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
