Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
