Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
