I accidentally burped into my bong.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
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