somebody snuck up and got me drunk
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
