If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
