wrigley field is MILF paradise
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize