he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
