There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
