I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
