Betty ford says i'm here all night
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize