i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
