if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
