I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize