Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
