I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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