a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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