i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
