you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
