My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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