So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
