Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
