i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Its about making memories worth repressing
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize