there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
