What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
