If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
