you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
