Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
