She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize