Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
