I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
