You're so nebulous sometimes
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
