how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
