you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
