Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
