I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
