in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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