Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Randomize
